Politicians are very strange people. Politics in my estimation is the most intriguing profession in the world. You are not permitted to go on holidays or to let down your guards. Eternal vigilance is your watchword. There is no off-season in politics. It is a lifetime commitment to scheming and plotting for all manner of things.
The political model of restlessness is universal. It is not something you tie to political operators from one region. Politicians world over share similar traits that are very easy to identify. From America to Europe, Asia to Australia and down to Africa, the game is the same. If they are not scheming to retain or regain their relevance, they are plotting to launch themselves into public reckoning as a way of positioning themselves for something bigger and better. May I for the sake of fairness also point out that in some climes, the scheme is about imposing your ideology on the society, attaining a public platform to offer service to the people and seeking to birth a long-lasting change in the society. There are altruistic politicians who love service above self. They want to see lives improved, systems working and institutions responsive to the plight of the public. These people abandon good-paying and prestigious jobs to get involved in politics. They are the ones who sacrifice all to see things improve in their determination to ensure that the next generation enjoys quality standard of life.
While I would concede that there are selfless politicians in Nigeria, the truth is that they are so few to the point of being almost nonexistent. In place of service what we have here are a large bunch of self-seekers, greedy men and women who are only motivated by what they can get out of the system. It does not matter how rich they have been or the level of societal influence they may have attained, it is about what they can scoop out at any given time.
We once heard the story of a certain former governor born to a billionaire’s home in one of the states in the south-south region. One would have thought that a man born with a silver spoon would have little interests in looting and pilfering of state funds. Who could have imagined that this “golden boy” and his aides would be involved in stealing government cutleries as they made their way out of government house in 2007? The principal himself was convicted of looting tens of millions a few months later by a Federal High Court in Enugu.
In another south-south state, we heard that there, the domestic staff of an outgoing governor cleared out everything in the kitchen before engaging in a free for all over the pots of soup. Do not make the mistake of assuming that the only ones who steal and fight over things you would consider non-essentials are the low-income staff. The “ogas” themselves often convert official cars to private use at the end of their terms; they auction off government property to themselves and as we saw with Abdulazeez Yari, the former governor of Zamfara state, sign themselves off to hefty paycheques.
If you ever doubt the capacity of the average Nigerian politician for the odious, the recent scrambles to replace Abba Kyari, President Muhammadu Buhari’s chief of staff for five years should offer all the proof. That people were already scheming to take Mr Kyari’s place while he was on the sick bed tells the story of the institutionalised treachery that has taken over the polity. Could that be why the late chief of staff himself had to announce that “he would soon be back to his desk” even when he knew his condition was not improving?
Well, Kyari is now late and as we have seen over the last few days, there is nothing stopping anyone from going ahead to publish his CV on the pages of newspaper for the kind consideration of Mr President.
Already bookmakers are predicting that Kaduna state governor, Nasir El Rufai, education minister, Adamu Adamu, former Rivers State governor, Chibuike Amechi, former Lagos State governor, Babatunde Fashola, former SGF, Babagana Kingibe and Boss Mustapha, the present SGF are front row candidates. Permit me to admit that I do not know who eventually would emerge but on the basis of what we have seen of President Buhari in the last five years, one can easily cancel out a few names on the list already.
At any rate, here are five things you can be cocksure (on the evidence of what we know of the president who rules like a provincial administrator) about the identity of the next chief of staff:
- He will be from either the northeast or north-west: Mr President likes to keep things “home.” He announced earlier in his presidency that it will be a 97%/5% policy action and he has never shied away from implementing that. Things could change but I do not see Buhari making anyone outside the “97%” region his chief of staff following Kyari’s death.
- He is likely to be a septuagenarian: President Buhari likes people of his age group. Kyari’s age was an object of controversy over the weekend. What is however not in doubt is that the resident has very little trust in the young ones- except of course it is a social media role.
- He will be a man: From sensitive cabinet appointments to nominations for heads of important parastatals, Buhari apparently has more trust in men than he does in women. For a position as pivotal as his chief of staff, the president will likely go for one of his type, a male, in his seventies.
- He will be a Muslim: It will be like for like replacement. President Buhari will appoint a man like Kyari to replace him.
- He will be an astute political operator: The late Kyari took charge of policy, politics and several other strategic interests in the Buhari administration. Buhari placed great importance on the office of the chief of staff. He will not be trusting that office to a neophyte.
The days ahead promises to be very interesting. There will be endless permutations and analysis but what is certain is that Buhari will most likely be true to type: an archetypical provincial ruler.
